The top 6 reasons why West Virginia is pitifully last in just about everything.

From left to right:

That big black hole is Congressman Alan Mollohan. He basically became Congressman when his dad vacated the same office. Gotta love that free name recognition (especially in a state where we elect people like Glen Gainer Auditor). His new nickname should be "Nowhere Man." He doesn't actually exist on the internet as his Wikipedia entry points out (and is backed up by his House webpage - check out how to contact him), he's the only member of congress who doesn't have a public email address.

Next to Nowhere Man, is our illustrious Governor, Joe Manchin, aka Papa Joe Cheerleader. Known for tirelessly cheering the State on, in the face of overwhelming (or maybe more appropriately, oblivious to) facts to the contrary. Of course, where would he be without the tutelage of his late Uncle A James, the most famous wearer of fireman hats in West Virginia's history? I know where the rest of us would be - about 300 million dollars to the good from where we are now.

Next to Papa Joe Cheerleader, is our very own, Robert "Sheets" Byrd. Who knows how much money he's salted away in his 60 plus years in Washington for himself? Pretty good for a guy who spent the 1940's being a member of the KKK. Of course, he says he's no longer a racist. He just likes to still use the "n" word from time to time, he voted against the only two black US Supreme Court nominees in history, and has said the KKK basically gets a bad rap.

And next to Sheets, is our very own (well, once he came here from New York and bought his way into politics) Jay Rockefeller. He's got more money than he'll ever be able to spend in 100 lifetimes, thanks to his family's ownership of Standard Oil. Evidently he couldn't hack politics in his home State of New York, so he went somewhere he knew he could simply buy his way to the top.

And next to Jayboy, is our very own Shelly Moore Capito, who is still closely advised in the background by her convicted felon, bribe-taking father, Arch Moore. I'm sure he's given her lots of advice like "Don't do money exchanges at gas stations," and "public money is yours to steal as you wish" and "before you say anything, always make sure they aren't wearing a wire," and lastly "Never, ever, under any circumstances, show any remorse for anything you've done. Even if you are convicted."

And lastly is our very own, Nick Rahall. He seems to think there's nothing wrong with his sister being the chief lobbyist for the country of Qatar, where she's paid $15,000 per month to look out for their interests. I wonder how much of that money ended up in Nicky's pockets. Nicky is also a chief enemy of anything that even appears to be pro-Israel. He was the lone US Congressman voting against a resolution calling for the end of the Arab boycott of Israel. He also met with Bashar Asaad and with Saddam prior to the invasion of Iraq, among other questionable actions regarding terrorism. He's got all the time in the world to hang out with some of the world's most disgusting dictators and terrorist supporters, but he can't be bothered to defend the lone democracy in the middle east?

Now, with these 6 jokers in our deck of cards, is it any wonder we keep going bust?